No, I'm serious. [he insists, irritated--] I was an active monk for a few years, remember? We chose to live in celibacy. Even something like that wasn't allowed.
[Asher lets out a disgruntled sigh, bending his neck this way and that, before touching an arm to his shoulder. Funny, all that arguing has gotten him a little stiff.]
He's unused to being acknowledged in ways like this, and the warmth that he feels is almost uncomfortable.]
Um.
[The cognitive dissonance is strange. He is so happy to finally be important, but there's a whir of something more intense deep within his stomach. Pleasant and unpleasant all at once.]
Sometimes, for me...
Just being with somebody, even if you aren't saying anything... It helps.
If you ever wanna hang out because things are getting weird, or scary... Just, uh, let your boy know.
[Jin thinks of protesting to that offer. He's not a child; he doesn't need to be coddled or babied, especially not when he's seen and done so much more than all of this. He's been through scrapes worse than anything Koltira had done to him-- shouldn't he keep a stiff upper lip, rather than give into that weakness?]
...Yeah. That sounds nice.
[It doesn't make you any less of a person, Asher had said. He doesn't have it in him now, to spill all of those anxieties out en masse again, but the possibility has been put in front of him.
Next time.]
I'll give you a call if I need it, Asher. Thank you.
[As simple as he is, Asher can sense that there's something Jin isn't telling him. Usually he'd push for an answer, but a part of him doesn't want to spoil what they already do have, especially since Coby has gone missing. Jin has yet to ditch him or toss him aside for being ignorant, and as a member of the team with supposedly very little to offer, this friendship is one of the few things that keeps him going sometimes.]
[It's progress, even if Asher doesn't realize it. Knowing he's kept closed off, making even the littlest efforts to stop the instinct of pretending things are fine when they are not. Having an option... having a friend, is enough to keep him moving forward too.
(He's gonna pretend the OTHER half of that conversation didn't happen, but still.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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this is the white boy version]
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That's not what I meant and you know it!
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[ugh he's sayin...g... the letters i'm]
I mean, I haven't really known you for that long. How am I supposed to know what you do with your free time?
Everybody copes differently.
[ya, like
asher apparently runs ppl over with cars when he's upset so
i d e k
bro]
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VERY
POINTEDLY:]
I'm not coping with my near-death experience by jerking off.
[he exhales sharply, because oh my god, he just said that, verbally, to asher millstone, who just called him cute approximately one entire minute ago
lmao he's still red]
I don't even-- [WHY??? STOP TALKING!! WHy] I don't even do it that much in the first place, not that it's any of your business!
1/2
2/2
video omg jin pick one and stick with it
[He still looks a little bit frazzled save his gay ass... changes feed setting AGAIN]
Yeah, knew it.
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[aSHER DON'T!!!! TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT THIS SHIT
JIN IS UNCUMFORTABL-
oops]
It's okay! It's cool. That kind of stuff's healthy. Don't be afraid to let your freak flag fly.
[don't go in2 falsetto plz plz plz-]
Holla!
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why cant he make himself hang up
FUCk]
No, I'm serious. [he insists, irritated--] I was an active monk for a few years, remember? We chose to live in celibacy. Even something like that wasn't allowed.
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[Jin has probably mentioned the monk thing at least a dozen times by now, but for some reason Asher hadn't really put two and two together.]
But what happens when you wake up and-
[do u ever wish that u, urself, an rper, could personally back out of a conversation butt it's not ic]
Do you just wait for it to go away?
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...............
.....
whispering in horrified disbelief]
Yes?
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[Also, in a whisper:]
That's metal as fuck.
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1/2
2/2
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Jin runs a hand down his face, rubbing at a freckled, still slightly flushed cheek. kung lao didn't die for this.]
Can we stop talking about this? You called me for something other than learning about my lack of sex life, I'm sure.
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[Asher lets out a disgruntled sigh, bending his neck this way and that, before touching an arm to his shoulder. Funny, all that arguing has gotten him a little stiff.]
I mostly just wanted to see if you were okay.
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I'm hanging in there.
[That much is actually true. He looks a little hesitant, mulling the words over in his head.]
I'm fine, but there's a lot to think about.
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[Asher's tone of voice changes altogether. He's a sensitive person, and seeing others suffer isn't something he processes very easily.]
It's okay, you know.
To ask for help.
[What's frustrating is his inability to do anything useful. Lifting boulders or shooting lasers out of his eyes, those aren't abilities he has.
But at the very least, he can be comforting.
He can be there.]
It doesn't make you any less of a person.
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[It's not a smile, but the heaviness in his bearing lifts a bit.
I called you and you were there, Jin doesn't say. The sentiment of it, he hopes, will carry: if anyone's shown this to be true, it's Asher.]
Probably part of the reason I'm still here.
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He's unused to being acknowledged in ways like this, and the warmth that he feels is almost uncomfortable.]
Um.
[The cognitive dissonance is strange. He is so happy to finally be important, but there's a whir of something more intense deep within his stomach. Pleasant and unpleasant all at once.]
Sometimes, for me...
Just being with somebody, even if you aren't saying anything... It helps.
If you ever wanna hang out because things are getting weird, or scary... Just, uh, let your boy know.
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...Yeah. That sounds nice.
[It doesn't make you any less of a person, Asher had said. He doesn't have it in him now, to spill all of those anxieties out en masse again, but the possibility has been put in front of him.
Next time.]
I'll give you a call if I need it, Asher. Thank you.
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Okay.
[Gentle, but defeated.]
I'll see you around, then?
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(He's gonna pretend the OTHER half of that conversation didn't happen, but still.)
Jin, emboldened, smiles.]
I'll definitely see you.