When I told you about what was up with me when I was a kid.
[The memories of the time that Oska'd been under siege by the temporal insects are hazy. He remembers very little of what he'd said or done in all of that time, and yet he knows, for certain, that he wouldn't have owned up to anything about his sexuality that would've made that exact thread of logic obvious. Not even to Asher.]
I didn't tell you the whole reason that I ran away. It's-- it's something pretty personal, so I didn't know if I'd be able to tell you then. [If he could trust him with it, he means.
Anxious, Jin gnaws at his lower lip, looking away. He steels himself, then turns his eyes to Asher again:] It's not totally a secret-- a couple other people know on the team-- but I'm not going to yell it from the top of the castle, or anything, so keep this to yourself, okay?
[The admission feels like it takes a little of the wind out of him. How is he supposed to boil something so deep and integral to himself down to just a few sentences, mere words?]
There were a lot of other reasons for why I left when I did, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was... it was important to my family that I joined the Shaolin, but I didn't think that the monks would accept me because of that. I didn't think anyone would.
So I ran.
[Jin stabilizes himself with a slow breath. Telling someone about your identity's easy: explaining all the baggage isn't.]
I didn't like the person I was for a long time. I lied and I stole and I did what I had to do to get by while I was living on the streets. Because I was afraid. Now that I'm older... I make it a point to be as true to myself-- what I believe in-- as I can. I didn't spend all that time hating who I was born as to not give myself that freedom. So... yeah. I'm an ass sometimes. But I'm proud of who I am, and nobody gets to take that from me.
[Asher's face falls, not because feels anything vaguely negative regarding his friend's queerness, but because he realizes that what he's suspected is true.
They're practically lightyears apart.
All this time Asher had assumed that Jin's secret was something horrible, because that's the way it works, right? Everyone has done things they are not proud of, and Jin's silence regarding this particular aspect of himself was suspicious to say the least.
If he was jealous before, that sentiment is even stronger now. Jin is a good person.
God, that must be nice.]
Oh my god.
[He inhales sharply, laughing a little bit. Play it cool Millstone.]
So that's it? I thought it was gonna be something bad.
[It's like a great weight's been lifted, even if it is pretty anticlimactic. Jin shakes his head, laughing.
Nothing seems to have changed: Asher looks a little let down, oddly, but far from any possible worst case scenario he'd held in the back of his mind. What a relief.]
I was a professional thief. A tragic gay professional thief. You can do better than "that's it".
[Jin watches Asher do... whatever it is that he's doing, and while he's still pretty damn appalled by-- all of that, it's undeniably reassuring.
All of this is fairly standard levels of weird for Asher: really, nothing has changed Asher's opinion of him at all. His expression's somewhat exasperated, but the smile is still there.]
[Jin's confession may have come off as a bit of a surprise, however, when Asher looks back at their previous conversations everything begins to make sense.
In a way, even, it's a relief. That's one less hot guy to compete with for some alien poontang.]
No problem.
[Asher just wishes Jin had told him sooner.
And wonders, briefly, what that somewhat familiar warmth in his gut means. Friendship, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
When I told you about what was up with me when I was a kid.
[The memories of the time that Oska'd been under siege by the temporal insects are hazy. He remembers very little of what he'd said or done in all of that time, and yet he knows, for certain, that he wouldn't have owned up to anything about his sexuality that would've made that exact thread of logic obvious. Not even to Asher.]
I didn't tell you the whole reason that I ran away. It's-- it's something pretty personal, so I didn't know if I'd be able to tell you then. [If he could trust him with it, he means.
Anxious, Jin gnaws at his lower lip, looking away. He steels himself, then turns his eyes to Asher again:] It's not totally a secret-- a couple other people know on the team-- but I'm not going to yell it from the top of the castle, or anything, so keep this to yourself, okay?
no subject
Jin has other friends, of course...
But somehow Asher had made the mistake of assuming that he was the other's closest one.]
Okay.
[He shakes his head as if to ask yet another question, raising an eyebrow in the process.]
no subject
[The admission feels like it takes a little of the wind out of him. How is he supposed to boil something so deep and integral to himself down to just a few sentences, mere words?]
There were a lot of other reasons for why I left when I did, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was... it was important to my family that I joined the Shaolin, but I didn't think that the monks would accept me because of that. I didn't think anyone would.
So I ran.
[Jin stabilizes himself with a slow breath. Telling someone about your identity's easy: explaining all the baggage isn't.]
I didn't like the person I was for a long time. I lied and I stole and I did what I had to do to get by while I was living on the streets. Because I was afraid. Now that I'm older... I make it a point to be as true to myself-- what I believe in-- as I can. I didn't spend all that time hating who I was born as to not give myself that freedom. So... yeah. I'm an ass sometimes. But I'm proud of who I am, and nobody gets to take that from me.
no subject
They're practically lightyears apart.
All this time Asher had assumed that Jin's secret was something horrible, because that's the way it works, right? Everyone has done things they are not proud of, and Jin's silence regarding this particular aspect of himself was suspicious to say the least.
If he was jealous before, that sentiment is even stronger now. Jin is a good person.
God, that must be nice.]
Oh my god.
[He inhales sharply, laughing a little bit. Play it cool Millstone.]
So that's it? I thought it was gonna be something bad.
no subject
[It's like a great weight's been lifted, even if it is pretty anticlimactic. Jin shakes his head, laughing.
Nothing seems to have changed: Asher looks a little let down, oddly, but far from any possible worst case scenario he'd held in the back of his mind. What a relief.]
I was a professional thief. A tragic gay professional thief. You can do better than "that's it".
no subject
[Asher shoots Jin an incredulous glare.]
I thought you killed somebody.
[guess what ur classmates have been up to bucko]
It's totally chill. Who cares if you like getting it up the ass? I'm an equal opportunity bro.
[u don't have to b gay 4 that]
i almost spit my tea out in a best buy 1/??
no subject
no subject
[there it is]
no subject
[he is an idiot jin but he wants 2 let u kno that he is down with The Gays™ ok!!!]
If anybody gives you crap about being gay or whatever, I swear, I will not hesitate to hit a bitch.
So don't worry about being-
[he says while gesticulating wildly, dear lord was that a pelvic thrust]
Around me, okay? You're an awesome dude who happens to like other dudes. And...
I like you, so. We're good.
no subject
All of this is fairly standard levels of weird for Asher: really, nothing has changed Asher's opinion of him at all. His expression's somewhat exasperated, but the smile is still there.]
Yeah. We're good.
Thank you, Asher.
no subject
In a way, even, it's a relief. That's one less hot guy to compete with for some alien poontang.]
No problem.
[Asher just wishes Jin had told him sooner.
And wonders, briefly, what that somewhat familiar warmth in his gut means. Friendship, right?
That's what it's gotta be.]